Friendship Standards?
I was reminded the other day of the story of Jesus calling the Apostles. He didn’t line up a group of fellows and choose, this one, this one, but not that one. Rather He told them what it would be like to be with him, how difficult it would be, and then he invited them to follow him, and about twelve did, and the others all went away. Jesus seemed to love everyone who came to Him, and he certainly reached out to others, touched them, healed them, ate and laughed with them. He’s the model friend. Brother Jesus…
If someone wants to be my friend…
If I want to befriend another..
If I don’t want to befriend another, then what?
What do my valued friends have in common? I enjoy their company, and they seem to enjoy mine. We all like to read and learn, we all are willing to change and grow spiritually. They each refrain from blaming others for their conditions in life, assuming personal responsibility. They do not wallow in self-pity. They do not suck up the energy around them. They have ideas and thoughts and activities to share that uplift me too. They listen when I share. There is mutual caring. We each see God, however defined, as the central figure of Life, and we each know we are peripheral, important, but not all-important. Church affiliation is irrelevant. It’s about spirituality.
Mature is “knowing what to do, how to do it, doing it, self-evaluating, self correcting.” One can’t be “friends” really with children, or other immature individuals, regardless of their age in years.
The motives/neediness of others does impact their relationship with me.
One seems like a pool of self-indulgence and self-pity, who wants me to wallow with her. I am resistant to her desire for friendship.
Another sucked up energy around her with sullen silence, seldom contributing, only taking from her relatives and friends, excused from adulthood by childhood abuse. She maintains ties, but does not want to hear truth.
Yet another is looking for someone to take care of her all the time, while she wallows in drug induced “happiness”. She definitely does not want to hear truth.
What would Brother Jesus do about these people? He set a standard and invited others to join him. God must be the center.
Survival, compassion, and individual spiritual growth are the three commands of the Universe, but God remains the center of all.
“So, what is God doing in your life these days?” remains a great question, the topic of conversation between friends. There lies the perspective and the potential growth of the individual life.
It is not my place to judge others, to choose who will be in my life or not.
But it is right for me to hold my focus, with God at the center.
When others want to be friends with me, it is good for me to ask them “What is God doing in your life these days?”
And they will come up with an answer, or just go away. It’s a question that requires honest reflection and self-evaluation, with the focus away from themselves. It’s up to them.
If someone wants to be my friend…
If I want to befriend another..
If I don’t want to befriend another, then what?
What do my valued friends have in common? I enjoy their company, and they seem to enjoy mine. We all like to read and learn, we all are willing to change and grow spiritually. They each refrain from blaming others for their conditions in life, assuming personal responsibility. They do not wallow in self-pity. They do not suck up the energy around them. They have ideas and thoughts and activities to share that uplift me too. They listen when I share. There is mutual caring. We each see God, however defined, as the central figure of Life, and we each know we are peripheral, important, but not all-important. Church affiliation is irrelevant. It’s about spirituality.
Mature is “knowing what to do, how to do it, doing it, self-evaluating, self correcting.” One can’t be “friends” really with children, or other immature individuals, regardless of their age in years.
The motives/neediness of others does impact their relationship with me.
One seems like a pool of self-indulgence and self-pity, who wants me to wallow with her. I am resistant to her desire for friendship.
Another sucked up energy around her with sullen silence, seldom contributing, only taking from her relatives and friends, excused from adulthood by childhood abuse. She maintains ties, but does not want to hear truth.
Yet another is looking for someone to take care of her all the time, while she wallows in drug induced “happiness”. She definitely does not want to hear truth.
What would Brother Jesus do about these people? He set a standard and invited others to join him. God must be the center.
Survival, compassion, and individual spiritual growth are the three commands of the Universe, but God remains the center of all.
“So, what is God doing in your life these days?” remains a great question, the topic of conversation between friends. There lies the perspective and the potential growth of the individual life.
It is not my place to judge others, to choose who will be in my life or not.
But it is right for me to hold my focus, with God at the center.
When others want to be friends with me, it is good for me to ask them “What is God doing in your life these days?”
And they will come up with an answer, or just go away. It’s a question that requires honest reflection and self-evaluation, with the focus away from themselves. It’s up to them.
posted by MJS at 7:51 AM
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